Impending Nuptials

WE HEAR that one of the North East's more colourful cricketing characters is about tie the knot. Whilst we use the term cricketing loosely it is clear that the impending nuptials of Newcastle lob bowler, Philip Hudson aka "The Heed" will break the hearts of several supermodels throughout the western world. Indeed our source has revealed that Gateshead refuse collection service has extra trucks on standby to handle the imminent break down of his carefully collected harem and the resulting increase in the amount of recyclable glossy magazine paper that will cause. Nevertheless, it is now less than a month before Philip becomes a blushing bridegroom.

Stories abound of the Heed's exploits in the Osborne Road area of the Toon not least that of him recently imbibing several glasses of tequila purchased by his ex Religious Education teacher. Following which he rather ungratefully and extremely irreligiously vomited into the street.

The service is due to take place in Gwent on Saturday 29th July - In true Hogarth tradition, we will keep you informed of "The Rakes' Progress".